I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I touched a dick in church today
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
