I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I deserve this hangover.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
