paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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