i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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