I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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