doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
