all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
