I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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