The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
