My hand turned me down
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
