don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
