someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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