How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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