I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
