Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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