hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
