I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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