belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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