my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
