It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
