Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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