census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
