You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How naked do you want me to be?
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