I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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