I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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