Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
