it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize