I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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