the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
