I need help removing her.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
