I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I could fuck to npr.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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