You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
