if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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