The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
