oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I still have a little drunk in my system
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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