We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
