I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were trust falling into bushes
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
