How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
