"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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