and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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