just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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