This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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