why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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