Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
