I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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