This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My vagina just recognized that song.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
