I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
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