I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
