Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is the high leading the old right now
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
