I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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