you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
