i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
