He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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