Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize