But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
